Saturday, 2 November 2013


I seldom write personal experiences. The inspiration for this post is Parama Ghosh's blog - potpourri. A few days ago she wrote a beautiful piece titled MONOCHROME. This is just an attempt on my part to try something new on this auspicious occasion of Diwali.

DISCLAIMER: The incident took place on 31st October. That's when the birthday was. It is being posted here today because of technical problems. (You will find many such problems below. So enjoy). There is no intention or motive to defame our beloved language "ENGLISH". The instances of text messages in acronyms (eg. u [you], m [am], txt [text], cm 2 me, etc.) are purely for the sake of reality. Some might do it for "Koolness". I do it to save word limits and time. We do sometimes want words to be typed quickly on a cellphone. A wise man once said: "Feelings matter, not words." Enough of disclaimer. Let's start with an awesome quote:

"Some don't believe in God. Some are devotees. I am neither. I just like to blame Him for everything."
  -- Shreyansh Chouradia

It seems more than just a coincidence when you tread back the memory lane and think of how some people enter your life and become so important. Without any reason. You meet them and you have a feeling; a 'something' that tells you that he/she is special. No I am not talking about my girlfriend.  I am talking of a girl very special to both me and my girl friend. We call her Rupa di.

That 'special someone' had birthday. I set the date on my cellphone's planner and then waited for the day. 31st October. Ok. So, I had plans.

1.   To wish her Happy B'day right at 12.00.
2. To send her gift.
3. To surprise her with the above gift.

But then, that sadistic creature we so lovingly call GOD had different plans. Plans to ruin my sacred plans.
Now I shall tell you how Mr. GOD ruined my plans.

Plan no. 1 - WISH HER RIGHT AT 12.00.

Cliché as it may be, it is now a universal protocol that you must wish a person close to you at 12.00.
I looked at my watch and became ready. I took a warm bath and waited for the hands of the clock to embrace each other at 12.00

11.40 pm:  I composed a birthday message.

11.55 pm: The battery died. Shit!
I plugged in the white, short-tailed charger of my galaxy note 2 and waited.

11. 58 pm: The cellphone had 2 % battery. Enough to send a message and place a call.

11.59 pm: I touched the cellphone's screen and started searching her name in the contacts. Found it and dialed the number. A beep and nothing...
I dialed again and found out there was no network.

The clock struck 12 and then 12.15 pm. After a good 15 minutes I called her. The number was busy. That was obvious. I sent her the message I had composed for her and then started searching on the internet for floral services for delivering gift.
That marks the end of our plan no. 1: WISH HER AT 12.00


Plan no.2 : TO SEND (place order) HER GIFT.

After searching long on the internet for the gifts and flora I selected a package, entered her address where it was to be delivered and proceeded to 'net banking payment' option. After a few minutes I was staring at a blue and white site. The SBI homepage. It begged me for logging in and I obliged.

*invalid username or password*
I typed again.

*invalid username and password*

*invalid username and password*
*Due to three unsuccessful attempts you have been blocked for the day*

I knew my account was hacked. So was my plan no.2 : SEND HER GIFT.


Plan no.3 : THE SURPRISE.

Okay. So, my account was hacked.  I wasn't concerned because it only had a sum of five thousand rupees. Now what? 
"Message your girlfriend." Said an inner voice. Though we were taking a silent break from each other because of last night argument, I thought I should message her and ask her to pay for the gift now. I shall pay her later.

I picked up the phone. The battery and network bars both were full. I typed the text in a hurry as we all do, setting fire to the pyre of grammatical rules :

*u alrdy knw its rupa di's bday. I wnt 2 gv her surprise. Plz gift her smthng frm net. My sbi bank accnt hacked.*

And I touched the send button. This marks the ruining of my last plan.
Plan 3: TO SURPRISE HER. How you ask?

When I clicked the send button, my cellphone displayed the following text:
*Sending message to Rupa di*

I have mistakenly sent the message to our very own birthday girl. I could not cancel that message. Like an arrow from a bow it was gone. 
A beep. 
Even the technology mocked me, I thought as I read the delivery report. *message delivered to Rupa di.*

Now, she knew everything: from ->my plan to surprise her-> to my financial crisis.

Anyways, I forwarded the message to my girlfriend too so as to get some help only to get the reply : 
*k. But plz u select the package. I m busy.*

My anger rose and I replied:
*Dnt worry. U work. I shall manage.*

I was angry. I didn't manage anything. I slept off.
Then, after an hour I got up from my sleep from a ping. I read the message and came to know that my girlfriend has placed the order and paid for it. 

No, its not the end yet and so everything won't be right just yet.


She also told me that our beloved birthday girl (Rupa di) was leaving for home tomorrow morning and she won't be be there to receive the gift.

I was angry. Very angry. 

1. With my girlfriend, for no apparent reason. 

2. With the telecom companies, whose dogs are better at following you than their networks.

3. With the guy who hacked my account and made me stand Below the Poverty Line. 

4. With God who was enjoying the twists in the story just like you. 

I felt helpless and frustrated. I put the lights off, let the darkness engulf me. I drifted to sleep again.
The next morning I woke up by the sound of the message tone. Feeling groggy, I put on my glasses and with drowsy eyes I read the message:

*I am glad I cancelled my journey when I came to know about your gift. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the lovely gift. I m glad I received it myself.*

I sighed. A sigh of relief. My lips curled contently as I muttered in a low whisper:
*Thank God.*


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